|Guide to: The Bus and Bad Hair Days|
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"Guide to: The Bus and Bad Hair Days" is a season 3 episode of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.
Part 1: The Bus
Moze wants to get a good seat on the bus so Faymen will sit with her, so she can see if he likes her or not. Ned left a mushy love note in Suzie's locker where he tells her he loves her. Moze tells him it's too early for him to say that so Ned has to get the note back before she reads it, which should be no problem so long as the bus is on time. The bus pulls up and Mr. Kwest comes out crying, saying his girlfriend dumped him and he has nothing left to live for. They try to cheer him up and get him to drive the bus. Mr. Kwest misses the next stop, which is Cookie's. Cookie panics, because he's never been tardy in his life and needs to get to school on time. Cookie plans to catch the bus at the next stop.
Moze almost gets Faymen to sit with her, but he gets pulled into a seat by Martin Qwerly. Ned closes the bus door to keep Mr. Kwest moving, and Cookie misses the ride again. He tries to run after the bus but comes across Professor Xavier riding her tandem bicycle to school. Cookie asks to ride with her since he can't be late, and she says yes. Mr. Kwest stops at a red light and stares sadly at a picture of his ex-girlfriend. Ned tries to motivate him again by getting him to eat a ham sandwich. Moze is annoyed that Martin nabbed Faymen on the bus. She decides to return Faymen his notebook (which she stole from his locker). Mr. Kwest starts driving again and Moze loses balance on the bus, accidentally tossing Faymen's notebook out the window.
Cookie and Professor Xavier are distracted by a garage sale on the way to school and buy a few things. But the bike gets run over and they have no ride to school. Professor Xavier says they need to run now. Moze tries to talk to Faymen just as the bus gets a flat tire, and she's bounced into Seth's lap. Ned tells Mr. Kwest about the note, and he says that's why his girlfriend dumped him. He fixes the tire quickly and everyone's back on the bus in record time. Professor Xavier finds two pairs of rollerblades lying around for them to use to get to school faster.
Mr. Kwest is driving very fast, but Moze still wants to sit with Faymen. Just as they arrive at school, Moze falls face-first into the seat next to Faymen. Cookie barely makes it into school on time and Mr. Kwest asks out Professor Xavier. Ned manages to get the note from Suzie's locker, but realizes too late that he took her math homework by accident.
- Tip#317.BT - Use bus-time for forgotten homework time.
- Tip#154.LBS - Look before you sleep.
- Tip#168.SPS - Use "the shift" to protect your seat.
- Tip#649.USH - Use the "seat hop" to move around the bus.
Part 2: Bad Hair Days
Ned and Moze are having a bad hair day. Moze ties her hair up with scrunchies and clips. Ned plans on getting a free haircut from the high school cosmetology class during study hall and use the twenty bucks from his mom to take Suzie out on a great date. He has a plan to get by Crubbs' new security system. Cookie is starting to get facial hair and can't wait for Lisa to notice. Moze talks to Faymen in class and asks him how things are going. He replies, "I don't like hair," making Moze self-conscious. Crony and Coconut Head hear about Ned's plan to bust out of school for a free haircut, and they want in on the plan. Ned tells them to meet him at eleven, and to have hall passes.
Cookie tries to get Lisa to notice his new mustache, but instead she notices a bit of blueberry muffin on his face. Ned, Crony, and Coconut Head meet up at eleven as planned. Ned shoots suction-cup darts at the security cameras. The three of them are stopped in the hall by Mr. Chopsaw, who asks for their hall passes. Crony doesn't have one, so he makes fun of Mr. Chopsaw's hair and runs away. Ned and Coconut Head sneak out through the window in the computer lab. Moze goes to Missy for hair advice, in exchange that she can come swimming at her house with Ned. Missy agrees. Cookie puts a giant magnifying glass up to his facial hair so Lisa would notice, but she just notices his "amazing smile".
Ned and Coconut Head hide in a couple of trash cans by the high school, but are caught by Mr. Combover, who teaches at the high school in the morning. Coconut Head tells Ned to save himself, and Ned runs into the high school. Moze shows Faymen her new curly 'do, but he says, "I still don't like hair." Missy says she can give Moze a more international look, but Faymen doesn't respond to any of the new styles. Ned comes out of the cosmetology class feeling confident about his new haircut, until he realizes he has a bald spot on the back of his head when he's taunted by one of the high schoolers. He makes Ned give up his twenty bucks too, and Ned runs back to school.
Cookie puts on a fake mustache, knowing that Lisa won't possibly miss that. Nurse Hunsucker gives him a few lice-contaminated combs for him to throw out for her. Crubbs gets a warning from the high school principal about suspicious behavior. Ned gets caught sneaking back into school by Mr. Kwest. Crubbs sees Cookie, all in black, wearing a stocking cap and a fake mustache, and tackles him. Ned is approached by Mr. Chopsaw, Mr. Combover, and Mr. Kwest, who have Crony and Coconut Head, too.
Moze tries one more hairstyle but Faymen still says no. The teacher asks if there's a problem, and Moze says Faymen doesn't like her hair. She talks to Faymen in Portuguese, and tells Moze Faymen was saying that he doesn't like it here, and he misses his family in Brazil. Crubbs rips off Cookie's fake mustache, tearing out the facial hair underneath it. Ned confesses everything to the teachers, and they decide to help him instead of turning him in to Crubbs. They're able to cover up Ned's bald spot and get Ned about seventeen bucks for his date with Suzie. Just as Ned is about to get out of school, Crubbs stops him with pictures from the high school surveillance cameras and gives Ned detention.
- Tip#464.BCFWH - For guys, hats hide grease, grime, and fleas.
- Tip#646.STWM - For girls, scrunchies and clips can tame the wildest mane.
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