Guide to: Reading and Principals
Seasons 3
Director Jonathan Judge
Previous Episode Guide to: A New Grade and Dodgeball
Next Episode Guide to: Popularity and Stressin' Out

"Guide to: Reading and Principals" is a season 3 episode of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.


Part 1: Reading

Everyone is reading at Polk, even Seth. Everyone except Ned, since he hates reading. Moze reminds Ned everyone has to do oral reports on the book they were supposed to read in iTeacher's class and Ned forgot completely. Moze says she loves reading so much that she's started a book club with a few of the girls in their grade, including Lisa and Missy. Cookie wants to get in because of all the girls but Moze tells him no. Ned picks "Green Eggs and Ham" at the last minute for class and iTeacher isn't happy about it. She tells him to get a book from the library.

In Moze's book club, Missy and the other girls are just gossiping and Moze stops them and suggests that they pick a book. She puts a stack of large books on her desk and suggests Jane Eyre, but Missy says it looks big and boring. Moze says it's a classic. Cookie shows up outside the window and suggests The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares. Lisa says she hears it's really good. Cookie says he's not actually in book club so Moze can't do anything about it. Moze then knocks him out of the tree by throwing a big dictionary at him. No one in the book club wants to read Jane Eyre, so Moze relents and lets them read "the pants book".

Ned finds Gordy crying over a book in the library, The Little Engine That Could. Ned tells him he needs a real book for English class. Gordy tells him about a book he wrote that sold only about five copies called, Janitor by Day, International Art Thief by Night. Ned doesn't read it and instead gets Gordy to tell him the basic plot. iTeacher asks him if he loved the part with the robot pirates and Ned says yes. iTeacher says there were no robot pirates in the book, proving that Ned didn't read it. She assigns a book to Ned herself, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. In Moze's book club, Missy and the others are still gossiping. A new girl shows up, who seems quite nervous. Moze tears off the wig and mask, revealing Cookie's disguise. She kicks him out of book club. Loomer, Crony, and Buzz show up and see Cookie in his girl disguise. Loomer says if there was ever a time to beat up someone for no reason it would be now, and they all chase him.

Ned goes to Gordy and tells him his problem. Gordy suggests getting the story from the Internet instead of reading the book. iTeacher shows up on Gordy's computer and yells at Ned to read the book. Crubbs tells Moze that he isn't happy about all of the violence in her book club and tells her to read more. In book club, a teacher shows up and says she was sent by Crubbs to keep an eye on them. Moze thinks it's Cookie and attacks her and tries to rip her hair off thinking it's a wig. She then sees Cookie and lets go of the teacher who runs off screaming. The girls ask why can't they let Cookie in. Moze tells them that if Cookie joins someone has to leave, so they kick her out. Loomer, Crony, and Buzz show up again and Moze says that if there was ever a time to beat someone up it would be now and chases them.

Loomer puts Ned in the way and Moze runs into him. Ned tells her he doesn't care about magic pants. Moze tells him her book club is discussing that. She says she's probably going to get busted any second for attacking the teacher earlier. Crubbs shows up and Moze says she knows to go to his office pronto. Ned shows up outside book club and listens to the girls talking about gossip and thinks they are talking about the book.

In class, Ned repeats what he heard from the book club, and angers everyone by revealing the gossip. Ned runs from them and hides in Gordy's closet. iTeacher tells him he should read a real book and Ned agrees. iTeacher starts her own book club with Ned, Moze, and Cookie because the other book club only wanted to talk about gossip. iTeacher wonders if she's forgetting something and Ned thanks her for telling the angry mob that what he said was a misunderstanding. iTeacher realizes that's what she forgot and the angry mob shows up and chases him. iTeacher says he should have read the book.


  • Tip#800.KAS - Online "Quick Notes" can be very helpful.
  • Tip#002.sbc - Start a book club.

Part 2: Principals

Principal Pal is retiring, and Crubbs is excited to take his place. Ned, Cookie, and Moze try to find a way out of Crubbs being their principal. Crubbs goes through fairly drastic measures to prevent other applicants for the principal job from getting in the building (i.e., putting a quarantine sign on the door). He accidentally reveals his plan to Ned, Moze, and Cookie. He threatens them with detention if they don't all start scratching their heads. An applicant shows up and Crubbs tells her there's a lice outbreak. She runs off. The superintendent shows up, mentioning that no one has shown up for the principal interviews. Crubbs reminds him he'll be on time. The superintendent just tells him to send any applicants to room 112. He and Crubbs leave.

Moze says Crubbs is stopping outside applicants, but not inside ones. Ned and Cookie try to find good candidates while Moze finds Gordy to have him convince Principal Pal not to retire. When Moze and Gordy talk to Principal Pal, he says he's retiring because he's old, he hates this school, and he's always dreamed of skating across Africa. Moze tries to find a way to remind him how great the school is so he won't want to leave. She and Gordy look at the chaos in the halls and realize it'll be tough.

Cookie and Ned ask Dr. Lowe if he'll apply for the job. He was told by Crubbs not to interview for the job or he'd be fired. Ned says he's more qualified than Crubbs, and if he's hired, he'll be Crubbs' boss. He's convinced and decides to apply. Crubbs overhears the whole conversation. He tells Ned and Cookie that he's watching them. Crubbs sets up signs that misdirect applicants to a small enclosed outside area with no way out, as the door is locked from the other side. Moze and Gordy try to convince Principal Pal that he made an impact as principal. They take him to study hall, under the pretense that the kids were all working hard, but when Gordy opens the door, there's nothing but chaos. People are hitting piñatas, and throwing things around. A stray ball hits Principal Pal in the face and he goes down.

More applicants are trapped outside. Word spreads about Ned and Cookie looking for a new principal candidate and some teachers refuse to even talk to them. Moze and Gordy take Principal Pal to the cafeteria to see the students at their happiest, but Loomer starts a food fight. Sweeney approaches Ned and Cookie and offers to apply as principal. Ned has a horrible vision of Sweeney as principal, so he and Cookie trap him outside with the other applicants. The bell rings for class, so Gordy offers to convince Pal to stay while they're in class.

Gordy gives Pal roller skates, which he doesn't know how to use yet. Gordy pushes him down the hall, thinking if he falls and hurts himself, he'll forget about skating across Africa and stay at Polk. Ned says if he's hurt, he'll be in the hospital, and not at Polk. Gordy remembers they're on the second floor, and they all race to save Pal. They wind up in front of the door to where the principal applicants are trapped. Principal Pal manages to stay on his feet, but crashes into them, causing the door to open and pushing them out to the secluded area, leaving them trapped with the applicants and Sweeney. All the applicants have decided that if they get out, none of them want the principal job.

Mr. Wright comes to their rescue and opens the door for them to get out. Since he has a doctorate in education from Harvard, Ned, Moze, and Cookie ask him to apply for the job, but Mr. Wright believes his place at Polk is as a teacher. Crubbs shows up and tells him he wouldn't be able to handle being principal. The words spark a fire in Mr. Wright and he applies for the job. Crubbs says the superintendent is interviewing him last and won't have time to consider Mr. Wright. The four of them chase Crubbs down, but he's hit by Principal Pal, who's in some kind of war flashback and believes Crubbs is the enemy. The four of them make it to the superintendent who agrees to interview Mr. Wright.

The interview goes well, and the superintendent says he'll make the announcement next week, though he thinks his mind is already made up. Principal Pal locks Crubbs outside where the applicants were trapped. He and Gordy guard the door to make sure no one lets him out.


  • Tip#370.GKP - Get to know your principal.
  • Tip#371.TSSp - See the principal for teacher, student, and school problems.


Guest starring

  • John Bliss as Principal Pal



  • Bridget, Lena, and Paul are actual characters in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but Mike is not.

Season 3 Episodes
Guide to: A New Grade and DodgeballGuide to: Reading and PrincipalsGuide to: Popularity and Stressin' OutGuide to: Dismissal and The School PlayGuide to: Halloween and Vampires, Ghosts, Werewolves & ZombiesGuide to: Art Class and Lost & FoundGuide to: Social Studies and EmbarrassmentGuide to: The Bus and Bad Hair DaysGuide to: Revenge and School RecordsGuide to: The Library and VolunteeringGuide to: Hallways and Friends MovingGuide to: Boys and GirlsGuide to: Cell Phones and WoodshopGuide to: Getting Organized and Extra CreditGuide to: Fundraising and CompetitionGuide to: Making New Friends and Positives & NegativesGuide to: Money and PartiesGuide to: Spring Fever and School NewspaperGuide to: Health and JealousyGuide to: Tests and When You Like Someone Who Is Going Out With Someone ElseGuide to: Field Trips, Permission Slips, Signs, and Weasels
Season 1Season 2

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