|Guide to: Money and Parties|
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"Guide to: Money and Parties" is a season 3 episode of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.
Part 1: Money
Ned, Moze, and Cookie want to go the Fig Valley Music Festival, but tickets cost $50 each. They don't have a lot of cash on them (Ned actually has nothing), so Moze suggests that they make the money by setting up freelance jobs. Seth Powers gives the trio a job by cleaning up his untidy room for his party.
After getting tired from cleaning job, Ned is approached by Missy, who instantly loans him the $50. She then kisses him extremely violently as a bonus. Ned owes her $72 in the end due to interest rate in loans. Rejecting the $50 return, Missy enslaves him using numerous chores: massaging her toes, cleaning up her locker mirror, carrying stack of books, and pulling her cart she rides on. Ned attempts to get easy money, borrowing "Free Easy Money" book from Gordy. He follows one of the book's instructions by eating so many bowls of oatmeal so that the government will reward him $100. After a day of consumption, Ned finishes the task successfully, but Moze reads the book again, revealing that the reward will be added to his social security check that Ned won't receive until he is 65 years old.
Meanwhile, Cookie brings up his talent show to make money such as being puppeteer of Baxter the Bear, magician, and extreme stuntman. However, his talents fail because: he spills on his clothes while letting his puppet recite alphabet and drinking milk at the same time, he cannot figure out the card trick at which Moze had picked a card, and he is trapped inside the locked box for hours as a stuntman (his audience had their money back.) In desperation, he decides to help Ned carry Missy's cart.
Moze is shown overburdened by a crowd of job clients. Unable to convince Ned and Cookie to help her, she herself accepts babysitting job with rough kids, fixing bikes, and walking the dogs. She gets paid in full, but as she finds Ned and Cookie helping Missy, she decides to pay all the loans so that both will no longer work for Missy. In the end, they all go to the concert but they need to repay Moze in return. Moze ties both of them in babysitting job and kids play with them roughly.
- Tip#737.CAPD - Need cash fast? Try babysitting, pet care and cleaning services.
- Tip#737.DMM - Money Tip #2 - Know what and when you're being paid.
- Tip#737.HWPO - Money Tip #3 - Hard work always pays off.
Part 2: Parties
The gang is invited to Seth Powers' party, only to have Cookie not being allowed in (he almost burned the house down last year after dancing too crazily from a fast song). Ned and Moze enter, and Missy sees Ned. She goes to get drinks and Ned spots Suzie Crabgrass. Seth said he invited her "and she came." Missy said she would go and tell Suzie that Ned was at the party with her, but Ned told her that he would tell Suzie. After seeing some girls who were not on the guest list, but were allowed under Seth's permission, Cookie appears at the door as Simone and is let in. Meanwhile, Missy grabs Ned and brings him to a closet, intending to make out with him intensely, but Ned declines as he did not have strong feelings for Missy. Ned locks himself in the closet, saying it's locked. Missy goes to get an axe, Ned exits and escapes to talk to Suzie. Missy breaks the door and is thrown out. Meanwhile, Seth starts to flirt with Lisa and Cookie wants to separate them. He asks the DJ to play a fast song and it turns out to be the song that he danced to that almost burned Seth's house down last year. His wig flies off onto an electrical appliance. Lisa spots him and he runs away. The wig from the appliance starts a fire, almost burning the house down AGAIN. Meanwhile, Ned and Moze play "Spin the Bottle" and they end up kissing, concluding the episode.
- Tip#737.NEM - Dress nicely, but be yourself.
- Tip#305.ASF - Keep your breath fresh, avoid stinky foods.
- Tip#305.GHTO - Get Missy thrown out.
- When the trio plans for the concert at the end, Moze had spent all his job money for Ned's loans, but Ned still has $50 that Missy lent him and rejected his return.
- Cookie is banned by Seth's parents from entering his party. Oddly, he did enter to clean his house with Ned and Moze in previous episode segment Money. It may be possible that Cookie's ban is limited to Seth's parties.
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- Third kiss between Ned and Missy